Xanga Septembet 04, 2004

Teresa is officially moving on Thursday and she's doing plenty of yapping about me coming to see her in 2 weeks. She signed her lease on Friday and her dad is gonna help her move come the 9th. She's moving into a 2 bedroom that she describes as really "nice" with plenty of "space". She wants to know why I haven't bought my ticket yet and said that I "better not" back out on her at the last minute. I didnt really have much to say about all of this because she brings it up enough and I'm tired of repeating my familiar mantra of, "If I change my mind you'll be the FIRST to know." I swear it just goes in one ear and out the other with her.
We had a(nother) riff about that today as well as some other minor stuff that I dont wanna waste any space here getting into....one thing I will say tho is that I've noticed that its a little competition thing with her and her daughter. What I mean is that if I ask about her daughter (she left a message the other day that BOTH her and Alexis were going to the hospital for different reasons) she seems to not wanna get into it much and then almost always starts asking me why I'm not asking about her or why I'm not giving her the same amount of attention. Hmmm......I dont know how much stock I should put into that, but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not thinking about it.
I'm leaving VVA right after I get my Xmas bonus at the end of this year. Frankly speaking, it's way past time for me to go and I need to get me a fulltime job. Of course, I've long known this and this was supposed to happen last year when I left The Shield for good, but some minor nuisances came in the way and there I still am. Plus too, the "vibe" at VVA has changed to the point where I dont feel all that "comfy" there anymore. Some people have left that I used to like and some people have come in that I really dont like.....but thats really all nitpicking. I mean the problem isnt VVA, the problem (as usual) is ME. Its just time for me to go and more importantly its time for me to have some consistent loot....I'm tired of reaching for nothing but LINT in my pockets and wondering what the hell happened to my money. I'm BROKE all the time because I dont make no money, not because I'm some spendthrift. And not having loot is starting to catch up on me too...the other day I had on my favorite grey Nike Presto's and started to feel some "air" coming in where there shouldn't be ANY air coming in! Needless to say I had to toss those bad boys out really quick! Now I'm down to only 5 pair of kicks...how does a brotha do it? Plus too, I've been reaching into some loot I'm supposed to be using to pay off an old Hunter College bill and thats not good. And knowing me that wont be the last time I put my hand in the "cookie jar". But I dont wanna have to open up another safety deposit box.....bottom line is that I gotta learn to resist temptation and make do with what I got till I do something about it.
Imani called me back on Thursday, but I wasnt at work yet and by the time I got there (I was only late about a half-an-hour), there was actually some things I needed to finish up doing so I didnt get a chance to call her back. She wrote me an e-mail later that night saying that she wants me to write for her so I'll call her back on Tuesday when I get back to work. I just hope that whatever plans she has for me is not gonna make me regret getting back into the game. I also hope it'll spark my writing in a consistent basis so hopefully I can really make some moves and better yet, make a little extra $$$ on the side before the year is over.
Can you believe that the summer is almost over already???
And not to get sentimental here, but I gotta say too that my thoughts and prayers are with the families of those who lost loved ones in that hostage situation at that school in Russia. When terrorists take the lives of innocent children like that it only makes an already scary world we live in even more scarier.